In Santa Monica, California, officials are going to try to stem the rampant breeding of squirrels in Palisades Park by injecting them with an immuno-contraceptive vaccine which will stunt their sexual development.
Apparently, this unchecked propagation has led to massive overcrowding in tree dwellings (“tree slums” as one witness describes the situation); a rapid rise in RTD’s (Rodentially Transmitted Diseases); and a serious increase in rodent-on-rodent crime. A senior city official (who wishes to remain nameless) is quoted as saying, “your nuts just aren’t safe anymore”.
While some animal activists might claim this forced contraception violates the civil rights of the squirrels, it is hoped that without the added burden of child rearing, squirrels will be able to focus their energies on other things like career, philosophy, and the arts. Who knows, we could be at the doorstep of a squirrel renaissance period (short-lived since there won’t be any future generations of squirrels to carry on the trend).
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Should we be worried that this will lead to promiscuity amongst squirrels? Unfaithfulness? Will they be having orgies in the trees? I can't imagine the havoc this will create!
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