If you do what you’ve always done you’re going to get what you’ve always gotten.
I’m not sure where I first heard those words. They’ve been rattling around in my head for so long that I’ve almost convinced myself that they’re mine. They lay dormant in the deep recesses of my mind, waiting for the time when life seems stagnant and time has stolen my hopes and dreams and filled my ambition with a cold and lonely chill. It is then that those words stab through the negativity, prodding and spurring me into action, reinvigorating my motivation and refocusing my aim on my goals.
Only this time, I feel like I’m fooling myself. This time I feel a sense of panic, of not knowing which way to turn to find my way or which changes to make to lead me toward my prize. And the rapid passage of time only increases that anxiety. My one bright spot (and she knows who she is) is prevented from becoming brighter because of my current limitations and I feel I can’t move forward in the way that I want.
But I have no choice. There is only forward. I have to keep reminding myself that life is not a contest. I have to remain true to who I am and what I want otherwise what am I living it for? I also know that it is because of the struggles that I face that when I do taste the life I’ve been looking for, it will be so, so sweet.
So although I always feel like I’m swimming against the current of general society, and onlookers may find my choices suspect and my ambitions impractical, I can only paraphrase the words of a cinematic icon (bonus points if you can guess who):
My destiny lies along a different path…
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4 comments:
hmmmmmm.....the quote sounds like the words of the great Obi-Wan Kenobi, or possibly R2D2.
BJ
Well spotted, Blue Jay. Consider the bonus points yours!
That one hit my right in the forehead. I have to face this "panic" and the fact that I am not succeeding like those around me every few days. Especially when you're surrounded with people who can be distractions and stir these foreign emotions inside of you -- that is, they have a different set of goals and values and its easy to get tied up in them.
Welcome to my world, "Anonymous". Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone and perhaps then the panic will fade. Be confident in your choices and, as corny as it sounds, be true to yourself.
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